OFFICIAL MALE SENSITIVITY TEST

 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
 A. Lovemaking.
 B. Screwing.
 C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

 3. You time your orgasm so that:
 A. Your partner climaxes first.
 B You both climax simultaneously.
 C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
 A. Healthy, creative love-play.
 B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
 C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
 A. The best part of the experience.
 B. The second best part of the experience.
 C. $100 extra.

 6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
 You tell her that it is:
 A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her
 B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
 C. A conservative estimate.

 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
 A. A myth.
 B. An oxymoron.
 C. A moron

 8. Foreplay is to sex as:
 A. An appetizer is to entree.
 B. Primer is to paint.
 C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
 A. "I hope we can still be friends."
 B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
 C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, Y-O-U."

 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
 A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
 B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
 C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
 

 Evaluating Results:

 If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.

 If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.

 If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"